Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
