It's like God shit irony all over that family
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
