I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
