just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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