I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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