ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I believe in your delicious
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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