So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
