The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
