I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
