Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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