haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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