Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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