every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
