Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
