I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
