I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
