i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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