is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
