if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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