party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
