so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
