You're my little dorito
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
