There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
