I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
