Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
