just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
