at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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