Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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