He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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