So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
