Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
