Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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