I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
