Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I skipped work to stalk him.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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