Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
