OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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