I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
