Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
