Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
