Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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