there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
