Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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