a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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