First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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