she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
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