I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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