I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
