The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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