Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The air was thick with penises
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
