There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
