it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
