Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
They took my balls.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
