Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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