the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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